:@2023.11.26:introspect:
I bike to work. Not far from my front door, I cross a bridge that gives me a broad view of the beloved Minneapolis skyline.
On good mornings (already good, or good because…), a realization strikes me that I’m part of this great breathing organism. Minneapolis isn’t the largest city in the country, but it’s no slouch. I’ll never meet most of my neighbors. But given the scale, I assume it holds plenty of people just like me in any way I choose. There are fair-weather climbers, learning writers, and certainly plenty of twenty-something-year-olds with uncertain futures.
Zooming out evokes odd belonging. Minneapolis is one of the more notable ant colonies of the world, and I’m content to be among its workers. Maybe this is a type of sonder.
Graduating was weird. Still is. I don’t currently intend toward grad school, so the last ‘pre-defined’ era of my life is over. From now until I die, I’ll work at a place until I don’t and engage with a hobby until it no longer interests me. No semester schedule will nudge my social life. Relationships will come and go, and there will be no external milestones, no end-of-semester departures to prompt movement. I was fully prepared to be cast out into the world, but I didn’t know it would feel so different.
I feel more free. It’s wonderful not to do homework and context-switch constantly, sure. More importantly, I can’t excuse myself from following what little ambition I have. “A better time to do it” can only, at this calm period in my career, be weeks away at most. Not months, and certainly not years.
So let’s see if I make the most of it. More to come, I hope.
Ty